Is being a spouse worth it?

2011-02-26T10:47:00.000-08:00

Today is Saturday, I am home alone with my 5 sick children again. Being the spouse of a soldier shouldn't mean that I should have to be a single parent, yet thats how I feel. Everyday is the same thing over and over it becomes unrewarding. Some people think how can you say that? It's very simple, I have nothing of my own, I have no time for me, I am busy all day with my kids that by the time my husband gets home I am so tired I just want to shower and go to bed. I don't hate my life, I know it could be much worse, but at the same time I know it could be much better. Every day its something, an unexpected meeting, traffic, training there is ALWAYS something, and I am suppose to just smile and say no problem, only I can't. I get so sick and tired of being the lacky that sometimes it's just not worth it to me to be a spouse anymore. I tried to go back to school but it was just to much, my homework, kids, and never knowing if I can trust that my husband is going to be home at a certain time made it pretty much impossible anyway, it was adding one more stress factor I didn't really need. I get that being a military spouse meant there would deployments but come on if they are not deployed a little consideration for family would be great.
Being at DLI makes you really take into consideration if military life is really worth it. Husband up and gone by 6 doesn't get home till 6 that leave 1 hour for him to see his children before they go to bed for the night,3 hours of homework, then we have the Saturday " training session" which is really lets waste the Company money and drive 2 hours away to play on an obstacle course while the family sits at home on the weekend the only real time the kids have with their father. There are a few exceptions to the rule, if you are E7 and above you are apparently better than everyone else and are not subject to Saturday training,daily formations or company pt, apparently 13 years in the Army doesn't mean shit and your just another expendable soldier and I mean that literally. Since being here I have watched soldier after soldier have their career ruined over some trumped up fraternization charge, because the COL seems to think he has to prove he is a hard ass. I know first hand the shit they pull, they tried it with my husband. They are on another planet here, their own rules and there is no one here who is going to tell them they can't. so if you object to their policies or what they are doing they will surely teach you a lesson, again more stress.
Recently a COL's wife lost it and did the unthinkable, she killed her children. People look at her and judge, I don't, I understand what it means to be a military spouse, Not that I agree with what she did one bit, but I understand that everyone has a breaking point, just so happens her breaking point was loosing all mental being she had and went off the deep end. My breaking point will end in divorce. Is it selfish that I feel like I deserve a life too? People will say it is but in the end if I don't take care of myself I cant take care of my family. I don't want my life to be miserable for the next 10 years, I only have one life why should it be miserable? I love my husband don't get me wrong, I just don't love his career, I don't like that he doesn't have a choice in whether or not to be home with his family over a weekend without being threatened with an Article 15, it shouldn't be that way. I really have to think about what is really going to make me happy right now and not worry about everyone else's thoughts and feelings are.

Lets get started

2010-08-06T15:10:00.000-07:00

When I first started to cloth diaper I was so overwhelmed with the options available, No one to really point you in the right direction and whew I was just exhausted, so I hope this can help some of you.

Lets start with prefolds, these look like your grandma's diapers. The come in many sizes. These do require a cover that is water proof. They also come in Bleached and unbleached. You can use pins or a snappy to get them on.

Contour's these are prefolds without the bulk, they can be made out of all sorts of materials. generally they need a pin or a snappy, I have seen a few that have snaps on them. These will need a waterproof cover.

Fitted's these are made of all different materials, they wrap around your baby with snaps, some times aplix, some offer snappy use or pins as well, they have elastic around the legs, which is wonderful for helping keep those baby poops inside the diaper.

Pocket Diapers are water proof usually with a wick away fabric that lines the pul, they generally come with inserts, made of microfiber, terry, cotton and the list goes on, there is a pocket at the end of the diaper where you stuff in your insert, strap on baby and your off. These come in, aplix, snaps, and can be one size or perfect fit.

All in Ones AKA AIO These are like pockets only without the pocket and the soaker is sewn in. They are generally sized I have seen a few one size out there.

All in two, these diapers are usually and all in one that have a pocket so you can add stuffins ass needed to your diaper. Helps with night time diapering.

Hybrid diapers generally are a soft outside shell with a snap in water proof liner with stay dry or organic cotton inserts , you change the liners rather then changing the diaper every time.

Confused yet? I am, so Lets start with some reviews on the diapers that I have use myself.

How I review, First I will use the diaper for not less then one week. All Diapers I review will start off in NEW condition to be fair to the product. They are washed and cared for according to manufacturer suggestions. At the end of each review I will give it a number of diapers ie 4 diapers on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best.

Green Mountain Diapers prefold (Cloth-eez)

Love these, I have them in newborn (orange edge) and Brown edge, in unbleached cotton. These wash up fabulously. For newborn they are not to bulky and great for frequent changes, as they are not overly priced and user friendly. I use them with a snappy and trifold. They are not super soft and plush, and they do allow the wetness against babies skin, but that is typical of any prefold. The cons of these are, they are not that great at holding in BF poop, I had to change covers often, usually with every poop baby had. They contain it though so no blow outs. They have outlasted all my pockets as far as use, I have used the same newborn diapers on 3 children and they still have a lot of life in them. I use these on my older baby now the brown edge, hes beefy and a super soaker, I use them through nap time with no problem. Would I recommend these YES! Absolutely, they have been apart of my stash since day one, they are the only diaper I still refuse to sell. I give these 6 diapers.

Flip Organic prefold

LOVE LOVE LOVE THESE!!!! I can't get enough of these. They work so well, my son is a really heavy wetter, these get him through the night in a flip over topped with a cotton babies stay dry doubler. NOTHING else has been able to get him through the night without waking up with wet jammies in the morning. They wash up wonderfully, the more you wash the more absorbent the are. they are quilted and oh so soft they are also very stretchy. We use these daily and they have held up to a lot of abuse. I give these 10 out of 10 diapers.

Kissaluv contours

I purchased these for my daughter who is now 6 mo old. I purchased size small for her of course. they have an added sewn in soaker to help with absorbency. They say up to 20 lbs for the small, my baby is about 17 lbs and they are getting small. They were great for her as a newborn, cheap alternative to fitteds as you will need plenty to get started. They stay soft in the wash, however I did notice that they stain easily, nothing a little sun wont help out though. They come in cute colors or unbleached. I like that you can use a pin or snappy or nothing but a cover with them. I wanted to really like these, but they are just "ok" in my opinion. I had to change my daughter more often then with a traditional prefold, they dont contain poop very well either, and the wetness seems to be more moist then a tradition prefold against the skin. I give these 4 diapers.

Kissaluv fitteds ( cotton fleece)

I got these in size large. They would still fit my son who is a beef cake at 35 lbs and 19 mo old. These are not for heavy wetters, He would go through these in half or or hour tops. They are rather roomy in the seat, the rise seemed a little short, however I like they have snaps as well as elastic around the legs. They contained poop well. I would recommend these for light wetters or moderate wetters. while they were not right for my baby because of his super soaking capabilities they are made super well and wash up great. 7 diapers for the fitteds.

Since these diapers need covers, lets move on to some covers for these:

Thirsties (sized)

I am not impressed with the quality of these covers. Every one of them fell apart in some way. The aplix didn't hold, or the sewing was less than par and would come undone. While the concept is great, and I would loved these if they held up, I wont repurchase these. They contain wetness like a champ, held poops in great as well. If these covers didn't fall apart I would give them an 8 over all but since they just cant hold up to use im going to give them a 3, after all using them over and over and over is the purpose of cloth diapering .

Bummies

I have used these since I started to cloth diaper. I still have my original covers and they are still in great shape, they have gone through 4 children thus far and perhaps my little one when she gets to where they will fit her. Pro they are really great for holding in wetness, con I dont like that the inside has material in it. I find that using the cover more than 2 times 1 if really wet starts to stink and I have to wash it before reusing it. The fit is great with a wide range so they will last for a while with out having to buy another size, they also have some really cute prints for baby. I give these an 8.

Mothersease

I really like these, love the fit, and like they are snaps. They hold up well, but again have the fabric inside and wetness can start to smell unpleasent after a couple uses. They fit my large boy well and fit my little one 17 lbs with a little bit of room. We have never had a leak in these. Would I purchase them again? Probably. 7 diapers for these cover.

Flip one size cover

These are wonderful love them and I love the day pack option in stay dry or organic. they fit my baby from about 10 lbs on, and they still fit my 35 lber with no issues, the cover is thin yet effective and is used more often than not in this house. We use these for over night wearing which says a lot in this house, I have super soaker's!!! I cant say enough about this diaper or the system itself... I would recommend these as a cheap way to cloth your baby from start to finish and a great way to start a traveling stash.

Lets take a look at pocket diapers and All in Ones now:

Bumgenius 3.0 one size pocket diapers

These are a great diaper I must say.. They are rather absorbent and the inside has sueded cloth which is awesome for wicking away moister. The inserts are microfiber,which is great but I have had some stink issues with them, I conquer the issue with a little boil on the stove and they are then stinky free. They are good with the size the small setting fit my baby from about 10 lbs.. they are just now rather short in the rise for my 35 lber. They are not overly bulky and hold up well, minus the aplix ( I hear that is fixed on the new model 4.0) The Aplix curled up and lost its quality after about 6 months of use. Cotton babies does sell replacement aplix on their site. Would I buy these again, sure. They have lasted me through 3 kids and my baby girl wears them off and on yet, so they have been used and used well. I give these diapers 8 diapers

Rumparooz one size pocket diaper

These are my work horse diapers. I use these most often on both of my children. they come with microfiber inserts, as well as the diaper is lined with fleece to help wick away moister. These are a true one size diaper, they fit my newborn at 6 lbs and my 19 mo old is large and they are just now becoming to tight on his chunky thighs. They hold in leaks well due to their inner gussets and blow outs have never happened.. I love these and would recommend them over and over to anyone just start out with cloth. Rumps get a 10 out of 10 diapers..

Lil joey's AIO

These were my fav for my newborn. They are specifically for newborns with a snap down for the cord area. They fit my daughter from newborn till she was about 15 lbs, she was rather skinny though. They washed up great, easy to pack to take on our cross country trip when we moved an worked out just wonderfully. Never had a blow out, they have the trademark leg gussets just like their older brother the rumparooz one size. These make cloth diapering for a new mom a breeze. I will buy these as a baby gift for anyone having a new baby. These would defiantly encourage a new mom to cloth diaper for the rest of her babys diapering life. Way to go on these diapers!!! 10 diapers out of 10

Fuzibunz true fit

I had these in extra small for my daughter as a newborn. I love these for her, they are itty bitty tiny little pocket diapers with a wide range in size so they fit her from birth till about 3 months old. They wicked away moister and worked like a champ.. only thing is they dont have a cord area and rubbed her cord a bit. For newborns I give these at 10 out of 10

Fuzibunz one size

I wanted to like these, But the way they adjust is just a pita. The elastic around the legs and waste adjust with a number system printed on the elastic. while it wouldn't be a big deal if you are just using these for one baby, but adjusting each time for each child if you have more than one in diapers, becomes a pain in the rear. they absorb great , they have microfiber innies and fleece lining. I would buy these again if I just had one child in cloth diapers.. 8.5 diapers for these.

Bottom Bumpers Organic AIO Aplix
I have just been using these for about a week now. I really want to love these diapers. They fit well, although the crotch area is very narrow. I have had issues with leaks, and I think it might be because of the narrowness in the crotch. The soaker are very narrow as well, they are organic cotton with organic bamboo velor to top them off. The inside of the diaper is lined with organic cotton, the soaker's snap in place on the organic cotton. I would be in love with these diapers if the crotch area was not so narrow, it would make for a better seal around the leg. right now I give these a 7 maybe after a few more washes they will get more absorbent.. (TBC)

Bum Genius AIO

These are all in 2 of sorts, they have a sewn in microfiber soaker with a pocket area to add in extra fluff if needed. I love these. they hold a lot... Only leak when I have left baby in a little to long (OOPS) They take 2 cycles to dry in the dryer, if they dont get dry the start to smell like mildew which is kinda yuck. My daughter is sensitive to the sueded cloth inside, she seems to rash in these easily, not sure if it is because they cant rinse as well or what is going on. Rash issue aside my son has never had problems with them, and they work as a great way to travel with cloth as well as on outings. I give these a 9

Bum Genius Organic One size AIO

NOT FOR HEAVY WETTERS... They fit the same as the 3.0 pocket . I noticed they pil'ed easily as well. over all not a fan and really isn't much to say about these. I give these a 4

Cloth Diapers are different for everyone and every baby, keep that in mind as you choose your stash. Every babies needs are different and it really is trail and error for most. I plan on reviewing one diaper a month.. If you would like me to review your diaper please contact me at Dizylizy12@aol.com.

Military life

Is being a spouse worth it?

Lets get started